I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm not good enough

I'm sorry I'm a mess,

I'm sorry I am here to stay,

And that I'm not the best.

I'm sorry that I'm single,

I'm sorry that I'm dumb,

I'm sorry that I disappoint,

Apparently everyone.

I'm sorry that I'm sometimes loud,

I'm sorry that I'm shy,

I'm sorry that I don't impress,

All the girls and guys.

I'm sorry that you hate me,

I'm sorry I'm not on your "side"

I'm sorry that I'm capable

Of ruining everyone's life.

I'm sorry I'm a failure,

I'm sorry that I try,

I'm sorry I'm annoying 

And make you want to run and hide

I'm sorry that I'm busy

I'm sorry I'm lazy too

I'm sorry you don't trust me

And that I can't trust you.

I'm sorry that I'm cautious,

I'm sorry that I'm young,

I'm sorry I don't want to grow up,

Cause I'd rather be free having fun.

I'm sorry I'm not talented,

I'm sorry I'm not good,

I'm sorry I'm not pretty,

Or do what you think I should.

I'm sorry that I am this way,

I'm sorry for what I bring.

I'm sorry that I complicate

Literally everything.

I'm sorry. I apologize.

But in reality 

I'm sorry that the way you act 

Makes me sorry for being me.

There

THERE

(Dedicated to my Mom)

Dear Mom,

I know I'll never be able 

To thank you quite enough.

You're there for me when times are bright,

You're there when times are rough. 

I think

I'll start with sorry. 

There are times when I just wish

I could go back in time 

To change, correct, to fix. 

But now

There's just the present

And I hope someday 

I can make you half as proud

As I am of you today. 

Thank you

For all of the adventures. 

For the random hikes and walks

For being spontaneous like me,

For all the late night talks. 

Thank you 

For watching girly movies

And for letting me rant

For being strong enough

Even when I can't. 

Thank you

For being firm in what you know 

Your testimony shines

Like a beacon, full of light.

Faithful, hopeful, kind. 

Thank you 

For your sacrifice,

For listening to me.

For giving of your wisdom,

And encouraging my dreams.  

But most 

Of all, I thank you for

Your love and selfless care

When I feel lost, with you I'm found.

I know you're always there. 

Paper Umbrellas

Paper Umbrellas

Just take me as I am.

I'm flawed and broken down. 

I've been to hell and back,

Oh kingdom, take my crown. 

These illusions, these masks,

We hide behind the truth.

Stealing our own identities.

Ripping at our youth. 

They say that perfect's possible.

The lies, they cut like knives.

Happiness and pleasure,

Look, it's their disguise. 

The rain falls, but all ignore

As it hits their face.

It's all paper umbrellas.

Thunder, lighting, waste. 

Expect much, don't love enough.

And then you have a place

Full of those who bleed to be 

Another flawless face.

Darkness wraps around us,

A warm blanket at first.

Then the heat becomes a flame

And causes all to burst.

All of the turning cheeks.

All of the wandering eyes.

Just stop and take me in,

Accept the words "I try."

Stop telling me I'm perfect.

Every time you do,

I think about the flaws that make

All you say untrue. 

If we could throw away

The fake, and just be real.

Trade our masks for mindfulness,

Put down our crowns to kneel.

Accept. People are flawed.

It's alright to be weak.

Love isn't beyond us,

It is what we all seek. 

Let's start to heal the wounds,

Set the captives free.

The world does not want us.

They want our liberty.

We must see for ourselves,

The chains that bind our hearts

Are just paper notions

That can be torn apart. 

Trust is...

Trust is something very rare,

Trust is something that takes care,

Trust is something that you earn,

Trust is something that you learn.

Trust is something you can loose,

Trust is something you should use,

Trust is something you can't see,

Trust is between you and me.

Trust is even more precious than gold,

Trust cannot be bought or sold,

Trust is something vulnerable,

Trust is something comfortable.

Storms of Life

Boom! Crash! Storms of life,

Fill yours days with grief and strife,

Shake your days with doubt and fear,

Fill your nights with sleepless tears.

How will you ever really survive,

How will you find joy in life

Listen now and I will tell 

Listen close and listen well.

Christ can calm the storms of life,

Christ can calm the worry and strife.

Christ can calm them and he will.

And simple worlds "peace be still.

Saving the world

There is one chosen to save,

He will fight both night and day,

He has powers beyond compare,

He has like he'll try to share

But not now-now he is still,

Waiting for the time he will,

Show the world who has the light,

Fighting for the team of right.

Now he knows his mission true,

Now he knows just what to do,

He must have faith - throughout the fear,

He must find smiles throughout the tears.

His mission will protect the life,

Of people worried - full of strife.

He goes through all the pain and stress,

As he tries to fix this mess.

But as he saves the world of sin,

Who will go about, saving him?

Will he be strong enough to show,

Will he will willing despite his growth.

My Saviors Love

I feel my Saviors love,

His arms are open wide

I feel it everywhere,

I know I'm safe inside.

I feel my Saviors love,

I know He's there for me,

I feel his warmth and care,

I feel it set me free.

I'll follow him he cares for me,

I lean on him along the way,

He strengthens and protects my life,

He'll help me know what I should say. 

I see my Saviors love,

In light the sun will bring,

I see it in the fall,

Or winter, summer, spring.

I see my Saviors love,

In smiles all around,

I see it in the sky,

I see it on the ground.

I'll follow him he cares for me,

I lean on him along the way,

He strengthens and protects my life,

He'll help me know what I should say. 

I hear my Saviors love,

The bird chirp in the tree,

I hear it in music,

Listening is the key.

I hear my Saviors love,

In places that I go,

I hear it in the world,

His love is what I know.

I'll follow him he cares for me,

I lean on him along the way,

He strengthens and protects my life,

He'll help me know what I should say. 

I know my Saviors love, 

I know He cares for me,

I know He made this world,

I know He sets me free.

I know my Saviors love,

I know He loves us all,

I know He's there for us,

He'll help us never fall.

I'll follow him he cares for me,

I lean on him along the way,

He strengthens and protects my life,

He'll help me know what I should say. 

Be Prepared

Life is pretty crazy,

There is so much to do,

Our schedules are crammed full,

Where is there time for you?

It's important as we go through life,

To never be too scared,

So that when unexpected happens,

We will be prepared.

The second coming is almost here,

So watch, prepare and pray.

We've got to prepare for many things,

Living in the latter days.

Our Heavenly Father will help us now,

If we turn toward the light,

Seeking out, preparing now.

Standing for truth and right.

New year - old me?

It's the second week of January,

Goals are stretching thin,

Where is our motivation?

Will we loose or win?

Our New Years resolutions,

Aren't really holding strong,

Will we last all through the year,

Will we hold out for days long.

Have you been going to the gym?

How is the diet going,

Is your journal getting fuller?

Are your efforts showing?

Don't give up! You've still got time,

It's still a brand new year,

Failure doesn't happen,

Till you've given up, my dear.

The Late Poem

Hurry rushing, do your best,

But you know it's fate,

Whatever can you do,

What you know that you are late.

Typing, reading, scurry fast,

Assignment is past due,

You know you are in trouble,

But whatever can you do.

Remind yourself, day and night.

But then procrastinate

There isn't much you can do then,

When you're already late

Brrrrrr!

When you can't feel your hands or your feet or your toes,

When you can't feel your face or your fingers or your nose.

When you can't feel your ears, cause you're so freezing cold,

When you don't want to move or do what you're told.

When you're shivering and quivering, and the snow is falling down,

When the snow covers everything, you can't hear a sound,

When the wintery weather freezes ice all around,

And it covers the doors and the cars and the ground.

When you're all cuddled up in your coats and hats,

When you stomp through the snow and make lots of tracks,

When you pile on blankets and drink coco

When you wish and you pray for no more snow,

When you slip all over the frozen icy ground,

And you with you didn't have to drive around,

Let's cancel everything and all stay home,

Let's all sit around and not have to go.

This winter had better be over soon,

I'm not sure I can last until noon,

It's only fun for the skiers and such,

And other people who enjoy snow so much.

Keeping my head above water

My to-do list's getting longer,

School work piles up,

My room is getting cluttered.

Why is there so much stuff.

I'm going, going, going.

To time to sleep or eat.

I'm busy, busy, busy.

There is no time for me.

With class and work, hobbies and life,

I feel like I am drowning!

There's so much that I stress about,

I feel like always drowning.

I cannot seem to keep my head,

Above this water deep.

This ocean's getting deeper,

I can no longer think.

"Help me!" "Help me!" I want to scream,

And shout and yell and cry.

I cannot stop or rest at all,

At least until I die.

I guess "busy" is a good thing.

I guess hard work is good.

I guess stress, in small amounts,

Does just what it should.

So I'll keep on trying, keep on praying,

Directly to my Father,

I'll keep on living, keep on swimming,

And keep my head above water.

The Tree

A seed is planted in the ground,

Where it's dark, without a sound.

It slowly pushed towards the light.

And small green leaves are soon in sight.

Soon with special, daily care,

Then good fruit it skin will share,

Watering and sunlight too,

Will help this seed know what to do.

One day when this tree is tall,

The gardener will cut it small.

The trees must trust him in this act,

And find the faith to still grow back.

We all are often like this tree.

First small, we grow up, strong and free,

Then our Father cuts us back,

And shapes us all, to get on track.

We must try - we must trust.

God knows what is just right for us.

We will grow and we'll be safe.

If we are strong and we have faith.

Wonderland

I wake up to still silence,

I know there's something grand. 

I peek outside my window,

A winter wonderland!

The snow has covered everything,

It's glistening, cold, and white.

My window has been frosted 

Much to my delight.

Soon children will awaken,

And find the pretty sight,

They'll love the winter snow.

That fell softly last night.

They'll wrap up warm and cozy,

Then shuffle right outside,

Sleds with strings of jingle bells 

Offer little ones rides.

Then speeding, sliding down the hill,

The children laugh and scream,

Snowballs are thrown into the air,

And at the other team.

Then rolling, packing, lifting snow,

A snowman soon arrives,

The children find sticks for arms,

And lumps of coal for eyes.

Their mothers call them loudly,

It's time to come inside,

There's hot coco and cookies,

Waiting to be tried.

Outside the window, they can see

The snow flutter and land.

Little snowflakes flutter down,

Upon the wonderland.

A New Year - A New Me

There are 365 days to spend,

365 wrongs to mend,

365 memories to make,

365 chances to take.

It's a brand new year,

With things to learn.

It's a brand new book,

With pages to turn.

There's a brand new life,

Waiting for me.

And it's my choice,

If I want to be free.

There are brand new people,

For me to meet.

And new competition,

For me to beat.

There's brand new talents,

For me to find.

And brand new chances,

To have courage and be kind.

It's a brand new year,

Where change will be,

It's a brand new year.

And a brand new me.